It is just after midnight and Lacey has just won another little battle. She awoke, as she always does, in the middle of the night in need of a bottle. I can't say that she's ever really stopped doing this. There was a time during the pacifier days when I could just give that back to her when she woke and she would return to lullaby land. Ohhh I miss the sweet relief brought during the pacifier days! That was short-lived, however, and middle-of-the-night feedings have been the standard. Now she is a year old and I realize that this has gone on far too long. Is she doing it because she's genuinely hungry or because it's a habit?? Now, when I enter her room, she's standing in her crib waiting for me with blanket in hand, happily awaiting her the bottle. That leads me to believe it's habit. Of course, when I tried to follow Kristen's advice and gradually give her less and less milk for those feedings, she flipped out. She took four ounces, as opposed to the six I would normally give her, and demanded more. She flipped out! I put her in her crib hoping that she would just fuss for a moment or two and then go to sleep. Nope. Screaming. Top of her lungs. Wouldn't stop. Screaming. So I figured she was probably legitimately hungry, and I caved. Two more ounces and she's contently sleeping. She wins again! One problem is that I can't get my definat little diva to eat much for dinner, or any other meal of the day for that matter. She generally refuses to allow me to feed her, so I give her as many finger foods as I can think of to fill her little belly. She eats some, but not much, and then refuses to eat more. For dinner last night, I did get her to take half a jar of baby food and half of a banana, along with a few crackers. She still just plays with her sippy cups so that was no help. I tried to get her to eat more, but she just would not do it. She squirms and struggles and screams until I get her out. So I do. And she wins again. By 7, which was maybe half an hour or so later, she was screaming as though she was starving, wouldn't take more food, but took an 8-ounce bottle and went to bed.
So you see my dilemma. What do I do?? I am trying to regulate her eating schedule more, to only allow her to eat in the high chair so she understands what meal time is, to give her a variety of foods and to allow her the independence that she desires and let her feed herself as much as possible, regardless of how long it takes for her to finish. She has just moved on to whole milk as opposed to formula so I don't know how much that is affecting her. She generally takes three bottles a day-- one before her nap, one before bed, and one in the middle of the night. She would probably love more, and sometimes wins, but I try to limit it to just the three. Beyond that, I've got nothing! So if you have anything to help this somewhat sleep deprived mother, do share! What do your one-year-olds eat at meals? Am I expecting too much? Am I caving prematurely? Anyone can opine here... even if I don't know you. I just want to sleep through the night already! More importantly, I want her to get the nutrition and the sleep that she needs. So... help.
8 comments:
I don't have any advice. I think eating and sleeping are such hard things with kids because there's no "normal" (atleast I don't think so) that you can absolutely make them stick to. It sounds like you are trying the right things. Good luck!
Shauna did the middle of the night feeding for a long time too. I think my parents gradually watered down her bottle until it was entirely water, and she gave it up pretty quickly after that.
Good luck! And her not eating at meal time is pretty normal. Kids that age will consume everything in sight one week and then barely pick at their food for the next few weeks.
Anyway, hang in there! Naps are a beautiful thing!
Both my kiddos did that and my pediatricians advice was to give them only water in that midnight bottle. i did, they screamed for 2 or 3 nights and then realized that they weren't going to get what they wanted and stopped waking.
Come to think of it, they also started eating a better breakfast once they were no longer having midnight milk.
I know it's hard, but try and persevere:-)
Good Luck
oh, the feeding dilema and the waking up in the middle of the night dilema. I won't even begin with Ms. Olivia b/c see she is just now at, 5 yrs old, sleeping throught the night!!! She would just wake up, and I'm sure Lacey does the same but is used to getting the bottle so thats what helps here- olivia ended up in our bed-DON"T DO THAT!!!!! Billy on the other hand- still- at 20 mnths gets a bottle at bedtime and sometimes at other times if I need a break- I know, a big no-no!! But i need my sanity!! And he has been a good sleeper but not good eater- for dinner, b/c he just would not eat, the doctor told us to give him pancakes w/ syrup. Now, you can skip the syrup, he just needed calories(Oh, to have that problem) but the pancakes did seem to fill him up pretty good. Other than that, every kid is different, so don't stress. I would like to say that I am now getting a full nights sleep since both kids sleep through the night but there's this thing called pregancy that makes my nights a living hell!!! So- good luck:)
our theory has always been going cold turkey. seriously- it sucks for 3 days at most.. but once they are over it- they are over it... regardless of what it is. we've done it with all our kids and it's worked everytime. you'll have to put up with screaming for maybe hours on end for a couple nights, but then she'll get the idea.
she's not going to starve. if she's hungry- she'll eat. but you can't cave... lol
good luck- call me if you want to chat!
Ya, we are a cold turkey thing too. It sounds like she is just in the habbit. My pediatician said once they are past 6 months they physically don't need feedings at night. i used the method of let themm cry for 10 min, go check on them (they get super mad when you leave), give them 20 min (still crying check on them, mentally prepare yourself), 35-40 check again... you get it. only Ashlyn lasted for hours and many many days. She finally got it after a week. My other more normal babies took anywhere from a 2 days to 1 try. I always let Scott do it because he was stronger then I and the whole thing stressed me out. It is sooooooo worth it. I am so sorry you are so sleep deprieved! hang in there!
I did the same thing with my first and then I learned Mommy needed her sleep or she was no good to anyone. So I would cry when she cried and my friend told me about running a fan by her bedroom door which in turns drowns out her cry ( you can still hear it) but its not as painful. Also it helps when the others come along and the new one is napping. The older ones can still play and not have to be told shhhh all the time. As far as the food. They eat when they are hungry and they will be fine. Your a great mom and this to shall pass.
OK, I am finally going to add my 2 cents here. Not because I have anything great to say, but just to lend you a bit more support in the not "crying it out method", as I know you arent so sure you could go for that. I actually agree with Kayla on this one, rather than teach her that you wont come when she cries, make it her choice to give it up but making the bottle less desirable!! You know that I have issue with not getting my kids when they cry, esp when they are little and have no other way to communicate their needs to me, but that is just my parenting style! For the most part I have great sleepers, but lately Courtlyn has been giving me a run for my money. It will end though, and little by little she will grow up and not need you so much...so I say, stick to watering things down more and more..and continue to demonstrate to her that when she cries..even if it is not easy for you..you will tend to her. Someday soon..you will wish she still needed you to comfort her!
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