The Story of Our Birth

Just to warn you, this is quite long and it is a birth story, so proceed with that in mind... it was important for me to document as many details as I could think of for my own records but I know that some of you are also interested in the story, so here it is...

Michayla Raelynn Hughlett

Born September 22, 2010

11:12 am

9 lb., 3 oz.

21 1/4 inches

Here's our birth story...

Tuesday was a particularly sweet day for our little family of three. We were 9 days past our due date, something that I never expected! The days of waiting were sometimes difficult, always wondering when she would come, hoping that each day would be the day. That day, however, was a good one. We had resolved to stop "waiting" and just enjoy our time and accomplish whatever we could. Mike had become all the more helpful in his efforts to ease my discomfort and lift my sometimes discouraged spirits. Lacey and I spent a good portion of that day out and about-- first to play group and then to the boutiques at Brownstone. The rainy afternoon was spent baking banana bread together and enjoying some Mommy-Lacey time. During the evening, we all gathered as a family in our bed for cartoons and sweet moments. It was a day that made us realize how blessed we are and how wonderful our little family is. It was a perfect day, really and could only be topped by what was to come.

At around 9:30 or so, I realized that the contractions that I'd been having for weeks were becoming more frequent and regular. With each one, we wondered if it was time to make arrangements for the fill-in doctor at the office for the next day and call the midwife in for a delivery. I definitely did not want to set everything in motion if the contractions were just going to stop, as they had done before. Within an hour, though, it was becoming all the more clear that this was it! My contractions were about 10-12 minutes apart and increasing in intensity. I'd never been so excited for pain before! My midwife happened to send me a message on Facebook asking how I was doing so I gave her the details. She said to call her when the contractions were 5 minutes apart, lasting for a minute and that in the mean time, she was going to try to get a little nap. 20 minutes later, we were on the phone and she was gathering her things-- this looked like it was going to be quick!

While we waited, Mike and I excitedly prepared things for our home birth and enjoyed some sweet moments together. We talked about how things might go, discussed some of what we learned in Bradley, and reviewed the things that I wanted him to remember so that he could help me through the experience... and made it through some contractions, of course!

Christy showed up at around 1 or so and set everything up. She checked me and discovered that I was dilated to 4 centimeters. We were pretty excited by that because by the time I was dilated to 4 with Lacey, the rest of the labor flew by fairly quickly! We expected to have Michayla here before Lacey even woke up in the morning.

The contractions were still growing closer together and increasing in intensity. Quite unfortunately, I was again feeling them almost completely in my back, as I had with Lacey. I had feared this because back labor is definitely a more painful way to go. With each one, I was on my hands and knees against the couch or over the birthing ball while Mike pushed against my back with every bit of strength he had in him. It was painful, but I was ok. We got through each one and talked and laughed between them.

Soon, the rest of the birth team arrived. On board was Christy, my midwife who I had already grown to love; Kelly, Christy's new apprentice who we also had a good relationship with; Donnelynn, another midwife called in to assist; Laila, a doula/soon-to-be birth assistant for the midwive's new office; and Lynsey, birth photographer extraordinare! Whether I knew these women previous to that night or not, each of them now holds a very special place in our hearts and will forever be imprinted in our memories.

As the night wore on, contractions became more intense and remained quite close together. A warm bath had been drawn for me at one point, but I declined to get it... I'm not sure why, really. I think I just couldn't think of doing anything else at that point. Some time later, I changed my mind. The water was reheated for me and I climbed into my wonderfully spacious bath tub along with Mike there for added comfort. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I still felt the contractions quite intensely, but the soothing warmth of the water did help to slow things down enough that I could get a few moments of very needed rest between them. Looking back now, that was on my favorite times of the whole experience. Having Mike so close to me and being able to rest against his body was so calming and fulfilled one of the primary reasons why I wanted to have a home birth. He is the one person that I draw the most stregth from. His faith has always sustained me through difficulties before and I trusted that I could rely on that through this circumstance as well. Neither of us wanted him to be sitting on the side, watching me go through all of it alone as he felt was the case during Lacey's birth. I needed him- he knew that I needed him- and he was there. He was amazing and I love him so much more for it, if even that was possible!

After a while, I knew that I needed to get out of the tub so things could pick back up again. Reluctantly, I climbed out and proceeded to labor in whatever position felt right at the time. Unfortunately, things were not picking back up. My contractions, though still growing in intenstiy, had continued to space out and were 6-8 minutes apart at some point. Not the direction you want things going in! I'm not sure how long this lasted, but it was fairly discouraging. On one hand, I so appreciated the break! It had been a very long night already and with zero sleep, I was beyond exhausted. Mike and I laid on our bed, practically unconscious between contractions. When another one started, we got up and did it all again-- hands and knees, lots of counter pressure, "dear God, please make this stop!" I recall wondering over and over again if I had called the midwife too soon, I worried that everyone was there for me on no sleep of their own and we were all just waiting... and waiting...

Suspecting that Michayla mightbe posterior as Lacey was, we tried a couple of different techniques to get her to turn. It was really just me laboring in a pattern of different positions through a series of contractions. Some of them were extremely uncomfortable, some of them weren't, but if it worked, I didn't care! Meanwhile, Christy went to the living room to get a little rest so that she could be refreshed for the real action. I'm not sure how she was able to get any sleep at all with my moaning and groaning, but I guess that's a survival skill of a midwife!

By around 6 or 7 am, it was evident that we still had a way to go. I believe I was dilated to 6 cm at that point, which was incredibly disappointing. Mike and I realized by now that Michayla would not be out before Lacey woke up and now we might have a tricky situation on our hands. Throughout the pregnancy, I hoped that Lacey could be home with us for the birth. Mike was concerned that it would be too difficult for her for a number of reasons, all of which made perfect sense. In my mind though, I was certain she could handle it. We never really landed on a decision so when she woke up at 7:15, we were worried. Between contractions, I went in to her room to get her, as I always do. She was tired and groggy and hadn't slept as long as she should have. Mike came in and felt that we should call his mom to come get her. He became a little emotional for her, which I completely understood. I knew that as much as he was holding it together, it was absolutely killing him to see me in so much pain. How could he allow our daughter, who is so attached to me, to witness it as well? Still, I requested that we wait and see how she would do. We walked into the living room and let Lacey see Christy and Kelly, both of whom she already trusted and adored. Still uncertain, she clung to me as tightly as she could. I had no choice but to take her with me into my bedroom where I endured at least two contractions with her in my lap. This would be another favorite moment of mine-- it was tricky for sure, but it was almost a defining moment for me. As a mom, you do whatever you have to do for your children no matter what and this was one of those times for me.

We walked back into the living room and I finally said to Mike that if he felt like he should call his mom, then he could. I so wanted Lacey there, but I needed Mike- if it was all going to be too much for him to have her there, then she needed to go. Fortunately, she soon perked up enough and became very excited to show Kelly her room and all of her toys. For the next several hours, Kelly played with Lacey while I labored in the bedroom and she was perfectly fine. I was sad that Kelly was not with me as I had come to really rely on her. She is such a kind, positive and uplifting person and I loved having her with me. However, the care that she gave Lacey ended up being far more meaningful to me. Lacey completely trusted her and was not once concerned about anything. Every once in a while, she popped into my bedroom to check on me, give me a little kiss, or just say hi, but for the most part she happily played with Kelly. I was later told that every time Lacey heard me yell, she would say "That's my mom. She's having my baby sister. I'm so proud of her!" I love that little girl!! My intuitions about her in this situation proved to be correct and I am so very proud of her for being so strong and wise.

Around the time that Lacey got settled, Christy came to me and suggested that Mike adjust me to see if it would help things progress. He brought his portable table into the kitchen and adjusted my lower back. I've never been more grateful for that table! Very quickly, things picked up dramatically. The contractions became more intense than I could have imagined and there was very little break between them. I confess that the pain was tremendous! With each contraction, I was yelling, begging Mike to push harder on my back, wondering how in the world I was going to get through this. I never once wished that I had access to an epidural, but I would certainly have appreciated a little less back labor!

At some point in the night, when energy was low and discouragement was high, Christy asked if she could pray for me. Exhausted, I simply said "Please" and she offered a sweet prayer requesting for divine help to get me through this. This would be another favorite moment of mine. Christy and I are not of the same religion, but we both share a strong faith in Christ and I was so comforted by that at that time. I absolutely felt a sweet assurance that yes, He would help me through it. It was an emotional moment for me and I was so grateful for that tender mercy.

Transition time! This was difficult to say the least. I was on the bed, overcome by exhaustion and writhing in pain. Unexpectedly, I became ill from pain and ended up throwing up... because I hadn't had quite enough yet! Mike was right beside me, as he had been all night, assuring me that it was almost over and that I was doing a great job. At one check, I was 8 cm dilated. The end felt so far! More contractions, more strange positions to get her to move, louder yelling.... seemed like an eternity! She checked again and I was 9 1/2 cm dilated. "Are you kidding me?!?!" I though. That measly 1/2 of a centimeter taunted me, telling me that I was so close, and yet so far! I hated that stupid 1/2. Hated it!

We began considering having Christy break my water. It's not something that any of us wanted, but neither was more labor! We debated, she left it up to me, but ultimately we decided to keep going for a little longer. I was instructed to go use the restroom and told that if I wanted to, I could try to push through that last 1/2 cm. Oh, I was going to, alright! Me and that 1/2 were in a battle! I sat on the toilet through a couple of contractions and did what I could. When I got up, we noticed blood. This was a good sign that we were very close to the end! I soon got back into the bathtub to get ready to deliver our baby girl gently into the warm water.

I endured several more contractions at that point and was just about at my breaking point. I couldn't help but cry between them, not because of the pain or fear or anything like that. I was just so tired! I can't even think of how many times I said that throughout the night-- "I'm just so tired!" Christy comforted me and told me to just cry if I needed to. A few more sniffles and it was on to the next contraction. Things were extremely intense by now, as I could feel her right there, ready to emerge. Suddenly, I felt my water break and with that, there she was-- it was time to push! I believe that I panicked at that point and allowed fear to impede my body's natural need to push. I screamed through that first contraction... that was when I nearly lost it! Donnelyn got down and looked me in the eyes and calmed me down. With the next contraction, I was pushing with Christy talking me through it and Mike still giving counter pressure on my back. I could not believe how painful it was and I just wanted her out! Fortunately, she came out quite quickly-- her head came out on that second contraction and with the third, I felt her little body wriggle it's way out into the water where Christy caught her. I turned around and sat down so that I could finally hold this sweet baby girl that had been a part of me for all of those months.

All of a sudden, everything leading up that moment was gone and all I could think about was how beautiful and amazing she was. I sat with her in the bath tub, with Mike looking over in amazement and the birth team applauding in the background. I was just overcome with so many emotions. Right away, Mike was saying that she looks like me and I have to say, I feel like I earned that! :) Within minutes, she began nursing and I was so at peace. That was a moment that I had longed for since missing it with Lacey. Because of the gentleness of Michayla's birth, we knew that we had no reason to be worried or nervous for her, as we were for Lacey. We were able to find nothing but joy in her birth with great confidence that she was perfectly healthy. I was so happy to see the joy and pride in Mike's face. It was all so sweet and everything that I wanted it to be.

Very soon after Michayla was born, Mike brought Lacey in to meet her baby sister. I was so proud to have my entire family right there- happy, healthy, and completely in love! The look on Lacey's face as she looked at her was absolutely adorable! It was evident that she had so much love for her already and I continue to be grateful that Lacey got to be a part of the entire experience. All of our lives were changed that day and it was wonderful that we all got to experience it together.

The next couple of hours were a bit of a blur-- I was quite exhausted in every way possible! I laid in bed and watched as Michayla was examined at the foot of bed, never to be taken farther from me than that. I watched Mike hold Michayla- another beautiful daughter for such a sweet daddy! When everyone was situated and well, the birth team gathered their things and went on their way, leaving us in the comfort of our home as a family.

As I consider the entire experience, I am filled with so many emotions. Initially, I struggled with the feeling that I did not handle it all as well as I thought I would. I had watched birth videos of women who were so quiet and peaceful... that was definitely not me! As days passed, though, I came to terms with that and am now proud of myself for getting through such a difficult labor to do what I felt was best for my baby. Of course, when I found out how much she weighed, I stopped making apologies for all of the screaming!

I was also left with guilt that Lacey's birth was not as gentle as Michayla's (I realize that Lacey does not know the difference, but I do). It occurred to me days later, though, that the two births are not exclusive of each other but they built upon each other. I would not have done things the way I did this time were it not for how Lacey's birth went. They were both amazing days that brought my two daugthers into our lives forever and my love for each of them is just as strong.

Most of all, I am grateful- grateful to my sweet midwife for giving me such strength and confidence, grateful to Kelly for giving me such a wonderful gift by ensuring that Lacey could be with us, grateful to Lynsey for documenting the beautiful event with her amazing talent, grateful to Donnelynn for being there and staying with me in spite of needing to be elsewhere, and grateful to Laila for holding my hand and helping me through some very difficult contractions. I am so grateful to my very sweet, very strong husband for supporting me through all of this! Contrary to popular belief, homebirth was my idea from the beginning-- he would have been a-ok with me opting for an epidural and not being in so much pain, but he knew this was important to me. He went through 41 1/2 weeks of pregnancy with me, including 12 weeks of Bradley classes, lots of mood swings, and even more hard work to prepare for another baby. He stayed by my side through more than twelve hours of painful labor and remained just as helpful as I recovered. So many things I could say about how wonderful he was! I'm so very grateful to Heavenly Father for allowing me to care for another sweet and beautiful child and for giving me the strength and ability to deliver her naturally and in our home. We have so much love and so much gratitude... what I've said here only covers a portion of it but hopefully we can continue to show it as we live our lives with these amazing children.